Dear Wanderers,
Life is like a cheesecake, I mean yeesh if we're going to have a life, food analogy it might as well be to something delicious. In my mind, I picture a homemade cherry cheesecake. Three layers: graham cracker crust, delectable cheesecake center, topped with cherry pie filling or better yet, fresh cherries and maybe a little whipped cream.
As human beings I think we tend to make these 3 things in cyclical nature.
Part 1: Love
Part 2: Heart Break
Part 3: Recovery
Repetitiously, over and over and over again.
Love, heartbreak, recovery, love, heartbreak, recovery, love heartbreak recovery.
I think these 3 things happen in our lives cyclically with friends, family and beaus/baes, because I think that humans were designed to love and then dust themselves off after the heartbreak.
We were designed to love and accept love but nothing is one way, sometimes to love and be loved comes at great consequence, all great comedies and tragedies have thus proven so.
So I am going to have a fireside chat with you, love, heart break, recovery and cheesecake and I'll transition from each but talk about them collectively because I feel like there are days when we miss the point. Days when we are so upset with everything that and nothing that we forget the cyclical nature of this beautiful beast, forget that it will make a full circle and come around.
Part 1: Love
If this is what it means to feel again,
then let me feel,
always.
Heart in knots,
butterflies in stomach,
the scars of my soul throbbing.
If the eternal unquenchable anxiety,
is what keeps me awake,
to share my hesitant heart with you,
then if it must be,
let it be.
And if this crazy spinning Crush,
is what is Love?
Then I hope fate untangles my strange ass string,
to braid it with someone else,
with yours maybe.
Because life is short,
but,
years are long.
What is love,
without your sweet song?
I will give you my heart,
love you eternally.
soul exposed,
love my freely.
So here we are phase one of the circle the beginning, love where most of us start. The sweet pulsing of two hearts doing a dance to see if they are perfect for each other. The first part is all about the rawness and how much honesty we can expose to the other person. It is about just being who we are unedited and pure.
Stage one: Love, the delicious creamy center, the orgasm, I mean foodgasm.
But sometimes Love doesn't work out all that well.
Part 2: Heartbreak
What is darkness?
Darkness is the absence of light.
It is where my soul resides.
It is the limbo,
where there is no light.
Darkness is what binds,
it keeps my wings confined,
Somedays...it makes me wonder why.
Hearts will heal while souls must shatter,
giving can be a great disaster.
Why does fate confuse the strings?
Don't I deserve my chance to sing?
My turn to shine,
My turn for light.
These are things I see behind my eyes.
Sleep is not a blissful cave,
the lions den,
I am its slave.
I am weak and tired and sore and do not think I can give much more.
The sun has set,
I hope it will rise,
the blinding light,
I hope...hurts my eyes.
This is phase 2, heartbreak. Heartbreak does weird shit to us. It breaks us down and forces us to rebuild our own selves back up. It shreds our hopes and dreams and makes us start over, again...and again... and again. So many times it is a test of character. Heartbreak makes or breaks a person. They either stay down the lexicon of broken promises jammed to far into their heart or they yank it out bandage the wound and get back up again.
I can't help but think that we are meant to survive this and so much more. That heartbreak is just a bus stop among many to get to where we are going, maybe we even end up riding this same bus or train again but at this point it is all about the journey and how we choose to get there. It isn't something to fear because tomorrow the sun will shine and things will get better, will be better. The memories will start to fade and let us breathe. We will rise in the face of absolute adversity. Heartbreak hotel fortunately enough isn't like Hotel California, we are not trapped here forever only if then by choice. We can leave at any time, heal at any time, love at any time.
Stage 2: Heartbreak, the graham cracker crust.
Part 3: Recovery
The sun did rise.
I saw it's rays.
So I dusted myself off,
and whispered "amazing grace".
It blinded me while I drove,
so onward I road,
fields of gold.
took some time to shake the threads of darkness
off my wings,
even took some time to sing.
Last night though crying eyes I still understood,
that today would be better,
and brighter
and lovelier
than the day before.
That I'd pick up the pieces of my soul
and build another sculpture once more.
Because no matter how tough,
I will always be meant to Love.
We must break to become anew. We hurt so that we may heal. Tears cleanse our souls. The recovery is perhaps the best part. It is a time for self reflection it is a time when we can really invest time into taking care of ourselves instead of investing our energy into someone else. Recovery is the period of time in which we think to ourselves if I could do it all over, what bullshit wouldn't I have put up with, what would i have made more of an effort to accept, and what would i have given to have that moment again. Recovery is all about accepting the past and it's about forgiveness. And there is a part of us that knows that in the end, we will rise, gather up the pieces and memories and make it brand new all over again because this is the circle and we will be okay, if for no other reason than the sun will rise every morning.
Stage 3: Recovery, Fresh cherries on top with whipped cream.
So wanderers, here's my last thought:
"If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together...
there is something you must always remember,
you are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think,
but the most important thing is,
even if we're apart...
I'll always be with you."
-Christopher Robin to Pooh Bear
I will always be with each and ever single one of you wanderers on the best days and the worst,
each of you has a unique place in my heart,
Keep healing,
Keep loving,
Sing and dance in the rain,
Love someone,
I Love all of you,
until next time,
Love,
So Loves <3
P.S. All of the poetry is original and written by me :)
