why we should all take a lesson from Walter Mitty.

So new vlog for all of you. I am really excited.  I hope you love it! It's about why we should all take a life lesson from Walter Mitty the character in The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.

Love, peace and laughter,
So Loves

Do we do what's easy?

So instead of a my normal written out post, I have a vlog for you today! yay! I wrote it out ahead of time and I read it to you downtown at the sundial fountain where I live :) enjoy.

Enjoy,

SoLoves <3

Turtles and Trust

You know what I love about turtles? I love their fearlessness. I love that they know they have shells to hide in and they choose to sun bathe anyway.

I especially love that recent little turtle that has gone viral that plays "fetch" with a dog. I mean come onnnnn how on earth does it know that the dog won't eat him on accident or otherwise?

I love that even after something tries to eat a turtle, it still comes out of its shell, it's not like, "okay one and done guys, one and done". It doesn't just throw in the towel like us humans do sometimes.

You know what else I love? I love the curiosity of turtles. I mean lets be real, what on earth compels a turtle to play with a dog arguably at least 50 times its size or to swim up to a shiny canoe full of rather loud idiots or to allow a child to race it against other turtles, why doesn't it just hide in its shell?

So what's it's deal? Are turtles stupid...... or are they fearless.....or are they just to trusting for their own good?

If we take a brief look into native american history and literature. They have something called turtle island, basically it is that each appendage of the turtle represents 3 things: a noble attribute, a element and a direction. So I would argue that turtles are a whole lotta fearless and trusting.

A tiny small animal laughing and saying "YOLO" but then again, maybe not.

So maybe you're thinking, "why on earth is she questioning me about the motives of a turtle and proceeding to tell me about it?"

This is why.

Do we do whats easy and hide in our shells or throw up our walls?

Or do we swim out, reach up, and touch the boat?

Do we trust the people in our lives enough to level with them and then proceed to have faith in them, or do we use the walls to our advantage, sometimes only letting the other person see through the glass?

Deep down I know that we are capable of being the turtles of native american wisdom and story. I know this because I have seen it. But I also know it is much easier to be the hidey hole turtle. The Dr. Jekyll turtle over the Mr. Hyde turtle. Sometimes it is reasonable but most of the time we are the ones that loose out when we refuse to trust and have a little faith.

I guess I want to tell you to trust people, just like that little turtle trusts the big dog he plays with. To have faith in people just like the turtle has faith in the young boy racing him.

Life will be a lonely harsh road to live it otherwise.

This is just one way to make it brighter and lovelier.


Love onward,
My sweet sweet wanderers.
So Loves <3

Cafeteria Us

Today, I have discovered a new found love for myself.
"The sun is shining the tank is clean...*gasp* the tank is clean"
Just kidding.
But it is a good day. So good I think I'm going to go have a slice of that thick homemade cheesecake at Piloras Cafe. And maybe a slice of Papa Johns Stuffed Pizza and Ittie Bitz generic Dippin Dots Ice Cream and maybe a glass or two of Fre non-alcoholic wine. And I'm going to have and eat all the things I love because I love me. I'm going to go to a local band concert and enjoy the sun. And I'm going to shine so bright that I blind anyone and everyone.

See I'm going through this thing,
where I'm learning to love:
cheese cake eating me,
hour glass me,
anxiety me,
greasy pizza eating me,
soul food me,
writing to you on the blog me,
the messy bits me.

Today I am the me that sits in the quiet room with my friend Mike and that is a good me. In fact I love that me. My goodness has she come a long way. And that me is learning to love herself: is learning to love herself and the calories while eating the most amazing cheese cake in the world. Is learning to love herself while she is single and on her shady trail alone. Is learning to love herself on the best days of healing and the worst days of healing, because this is amazing me. And life is a Beautiful Struggle. No matter what, always beautiful.

So here I am on campus, contemplating cafeteria us. The us the picks the best and worst parts of life or refuses to try something new because we are frightened. And I think we should let our inhibitions go and just eat the Artisan Hamburger on Rye and the homemade cheesecake with the side of grapes covered in cream cheese sauce with roasted glazed walnuts on top. I think we should just throw our hands up in the air and be the best versions of ourselves that we can possibly manage. I think we should wish on all the stars not just the first one because life is short and unpredictable and we only get this one shot to be incredibly awesome.

Stars light,
Stars bright,
All the stars I see tonight,
I wish I may,
I wish I might,
Have the wishes I wish to night.

This is part of freedom,
This is part of being the unedited version of us,
look at how beautiful it all is.

Cafeteria Us,
Silly Us,
Travel Us,
Fearless Us.

Live Like There's No Tomorrow,
So Loves <3

Healing and Leftovers

This writing comes from a truly aching part of my soul.

It is so easy to package up our emotions and our problems. They are the leftovers of a semi-decent meal and at the end of the day, we put them in take-out containers and shove them to the backs of our fridges. And one day we wake up briefly to check on those forsaken things and we find that they are molding from neglect.

It is so easy to get caught in the webs of life, to save our feelings for another day, simply because "we don't have time". It's really more like, "we don't want to make time". We don't let ourselves be still in the silence or caught in the quiet room. We'd rather put it off for another day, cram another take-out box into an already full fridge.

What's even worse is when we tell ourselves that we don't need to deal with our problems, because someone else's problems are worse. There is no comparison, everyone's problems are the worst for them, even if they seem like no big deal to you or I.

I hate when we lie to ourselves saying:
"Oh it's not that bad"
or
"I'll be fine"
or
"I'm just moving on"

I call Bullshit.
I call Cheat.
It is a lie.

The wake up call is ice cold. You mean I can't enjoy those moldy leftovers? You mean they're no good?

That's right, they're no good. You have let them sit to long. You have refused to really heal. If you thought it was going to be hard to deal with them then, it's even harder now. It's not just one problem that could've been dealt with, it is now, many, many more.

They give you anxiety now.
They give you pain now.
As a combined force,
they are deadly.

You don't deserve this,
You don't deserve to hurt like you are.

You deserve to heal,
You deserve light.

And only you  can give yourself the right to do so.
Only you can pull up the garbage can to the moldy leftovers in the fridge and clean them out.
I feel like it's important to realize that no one can do it for you.

It is easy to say,
"I'll deal with it tomorrow",
putting it off is easy.

It is much harder to say,
"I'll deal with it now"
"I will deal with it while it hurts"
"I will deal with it while I'm raw and my heart is shattered".

Our feelings are not pennies to put in the rainy day jar.
They are always present and with us.

It is important that we give ourselves time to heal,
to sit in the scilence,
to enjoy the quiet room,
to drink tea at the cafe alone,
to great the sun as it rises,
to do art,
to write,
to love ourselves.

The hardest part about healing is realizing that we deserve to.
That we deserve all the best things of life.
That we deserve hope and love and dreams and happiness and days without regret or pain.

Choose to heal.

The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Love and Hugs,
So Loves <3

The Perfect Stranger

So, I believe that fate has this thing...that it tosses you into these moments with people. Sometimes we are only supposed to know them for a moment and sometimes maybe forever. So we enter into these moments with a sort of hope and apprehension, hoping that either way the cards fall, some how both of us get exactly what we need out of this moment with the perfect stranger.

Sometimes the interaction is just a spark, just enough inspiration to make you think,
And sometimes the interaction is a fire,
a real chance to get to know this "perfect stranger" a chance to let them in.

And I guess the reason I write this is because I have met "The Prefect Stranger". I have seen this person around and had one or two casual interactions with this person, but late last night the interaction was a fire. It feels like she is my non-biological twin,
similar habits,
similar outlooks,
similar experiences.

She talks to me the way I talk to friends I really care about,
she is the best listener,
but also an honest advice giver.
She shines so brightly,
that I am nearly blinded,
if it were not for,
our light creating the super nova that it does.
You know you are in good company when you can carry the conversation for, 4 hours.

You understand that fate brought you to this incredible super nova moment for a reason.

I guess I want you to know that every person you meet is never luck or chance. It is the universes carefully engineered moments. Sometimes these moments make all the difference.

Stay strong,
Stay brave,
Stay wise,
Love on my wanderers,
So Loves <3

Definition of "The Difference"

The difference is a perspective glass in which we look through. It is all the things we are and all the things.  we are not. "The Difference" is sometimes a good thing and other times we must bridge it. "The difference" defines the uniqueness of two separate objects.