A Fairy Child's Head

And the trees will guild me home to a mothers soft sweet arms,
this water running over my feet will cleanse me,
the light hides just behind confused eyes,
while the moss embraces me.
Asleep upon the forest floor,
the moon watches over me,
fireflies are my little immortal night lights,
messengers for the earth who is my goddess,
she protects me.
Woke up under a blanket of pine needles,
scent...woodsy...sweet,
Through sleepy eyes,
I witnessed the sunrise and ran,
because the rain is my only hope.
Hit the cliffs edge,
and jumped in....
to the water that cleanses me,
please be my light.
Shore full of pine cones,
where is the sand?
Symbolic of an untouched land,
sat amidst the pine cones,
contemplated life.
This is what things look like...

Written by Sossina Chirhart

Why Interactions Matter

I was talking to a good friend of mine the other day about why I believe in investing in people, and it went something like this:

"I believe in investing in people when I am volunteering, teaching and mentoring, because humans are a part of the big equation. In the next couple of decades, maybe less, the relationship between humans and nature is going to change dramatically and the products of those things being added together is going to equal some sort of outcome.

humans+non-humans+some sort of divine?= Unknown Outcome

Knowing this information, I believe that in order to change the possible effects of the outcome, we must nurture others with a positive, real, hopeful vision for the future."

Our interactions with each other, create these personal webs, at least, that's how I imagine them. And in our webs are all of the interactions and experiences we have had by ourselves and with others and with non-humans. And inevitably combinations of the interactions and our essence, form and shape who we end up being and contribute to the actions we make and take in this lifetime.

So, if we think about that, then it becomes extremely important to leave positive impacts on the people around us and live the life we aspire others to live. Makes sense, right?

"In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision". -Dalai Lama

On everything we touch and every person we interact with, we must leave a kiss of kindness and a hug of hope and inspiration through our thoughts and actions. We must do these things to help create a "positive vision", to help remind ourselves that a positive outcome is possible through "positive action". And that the only way this string of things survives is through our synergy with each other and with non-humans.

It's a pretty big weight to bear, but we have created our current reality, and in the over arching reality there is great unrest. There is also great power in realizing that through our relationships with each other, that we can transform the unrest into some sort of action that needs to happen.

So I leave you with these thoughts:

Knowing everything you know now, kiss your kids, by kind to all humans and non-humans, hug a tree, have compassion, live with gusto and true intention, because our realities are exactly what we make them and they have the power to positively or negatively affect others.

"If we're destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one another and all that stuff, there's got to be a very powerful energy to fight that. I think we need more love in the world. We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to that". -Ellen DeGeneres

Lets contribute to that! I look forward to chatting with you next time.

All my love,

Sossina

Lets Be Like the Jar of Salsa!

I remember breaking down the other day and with all of the arguably bad things weighting me down in my life, turned to the love of my life and said "I feel liking I am loosing myself and barely know who I am anymore". To me being lost was bad, I feel empty, and I was looking at that emptiness as loneliness something defining something that I wasn't sure how to overcome. I remember someone saying that I was taking the road less traveled, goddess somedays I resent Robert Frost. It's just like Kid President said, "I took the road less traveled by....And it hurt!...There were rocks...and glass...and my pants broke!...Why Robert Frost?".

Empty to many of us, has come to represent sadness, unfulfillment and loss.

But what if I set an empty jar down in front of you? And what if the jar had been full of delicious salsa in its previous life, but it isn't now, it is just a scraped semi-clean empty jar with imperfections. The label is missing and all of the obnoxious glue is still on the outside. But what if I told you, you could fill it with more of anything, you could even fill it with more salsa! Or glitter or pictures or memories. And you would totally do that right? You would give the jar purpose again...I mean why wouldn't you?

Then how is it in our own lives that we are not the jar we would so readily fill, when we are lost and feel empty?

I am a vessel, you are a vessel, if we are like the jar then we will fill our vessels with whatever we want. If I feel empty, then I can fill myself with not only the things I already am, but also with the things I want to be. I can turn the dreams into things I am and so can you. You can fill your jar with whatever you want! And when we start to feel empty, maybe we will stop seeing it as such a bad thing, because it's not. It is Life giving us a wake-up call, telling us not to be okay with what we are perceiving to by normal, shouting at us to be more, calling for action.

I know that when I am home and I have an empty jar, I fill it with things I love: glass stones, ceramics stones, flowers, plants, paintbrushes, the colorful water from the brushes I have used to paint with, food, ice cream, all sorts of things that I love!

We are the glass jar, and sometimes, yes, we are empty but we are never gone. And when you feel empty, you can fill yourself right up, maybe you won't have the same things that were in your last jar, but that is so totally and incredibly okay, and maybe you will have the same things, and that is also totally okay. Any maybe you can't fill it by yourself in which case you should totally ask others to help you out and they will put things in that make them happy and you happy.

So, let us be like the Jar of Salsa, sometimes full, sometimes brimming over, sometimes empty. And let us remember that all of those things can be good.

The ability to love oneself, empty or full is quite a feat indeed.
I look forward to the next time wanderers!
Love,
Sossina <3

P.S.(Look at that jar! It is filled with honey and honeycomb from my friends bees! What a happy vessel it must be indeed)

Be Free

We all live in systems.
systems that every single day,
try to break...
break us of who we are...
break us of our dreams.
Fear keeps  us in the systems tangle in the unlocked chains of choice.
Ignorance keeps us in the systems, keeps our minds in the prison block.

People say that having the ability to truly live out who you are is a great feat...
That's because it is.
Systems oppress us while the soul in all of us seeks freedom and the humanity seeks understanding.

No one keeps you there caught in the limbo.
Choose knowledge and be free.
Choose Dharma and be free.
Choose Love and be free.
Give yourself the permission to be free.
The chains are unlocked, so fly.

Sossina Chirhart December 2015

With love and positivity to the universe and all the wanderers,
Sossina <3

Dear Diary...

Dear Diary,
The last couple days have been heart breakingly beautiful. Diary...I have met people that have changed my life forever, that even now in this moment are changing the universe as I know it forever. And that my love is a pretty powerful, pretty darn incredible thing.

I should explain though... a few days ago I got back from a conference. This conference was about us. All of us, about environmentalism, about racial equity, about everyday life, about spiritualism, about acceptance, about humility, about gratitude, about forgiveness, about our intrinsic connection: to the earth, to each other. and Diary, when I left that place, I left a piece of myself there, there is those incredible people, in that incredible place, and Diary, I look forward to returning to that place and collecting that part of myself someday.

You will never meet people kinder, or more thoughtful, that celebrate the Dharma inside each other, that grieve together over the injustices in this world, that sit in the silences with each other, that approach each and everyday with reckless abandon.

Diary, these last couple days have been some of the hardest ever. I have spent time grieving and really truly feeling. I have spent time trying to overcome the great distance I feel, the sadness, the depression. I have gone to counseling and done art therapy and spent a lot of time in the dark.

And when I am truly sad beyond belief, words of a great friend echo in my head, "It is truly courageous to grieve and cry, honor those tears, do not be ashamed, they are a sign of strength". And Diary, let me tell you something about the darkness...I left that place, telling everyone, that to me they were the lights in the darkness, that made me know I could help my people...the people. So when I close my eyes, I see those people, I see them each illuminating the darkness with their candle, with their inner light. Behind my eyes, they dance around me, walk around me, they light up the space around me and if I can grasp that vision, I know deep down that...I...am...not...alone.

Diary, environmentalism, seeking active awareness, are often lonely tasks. The thought of actually comforting the things in our lives is a scary one, it can be filled with fear. But once again, I close my eyes and I can see them all around me, everyone holding a candle, filling that space with the one thing that makes us all keep going...light...hope...understanding.

And then more words Diary, will echo inside me."Sossina, being naive is not a bad thing. For you it is your naivety and curiosity that inspire enthusiasm. That is a gift, whether you realize it or not, and that enthusiasm inspires others". The words that resonate inside of me Diary, those words keep me going.

This feeling keeps me going and knowing that someday, no matter how far away, I will return to claim the part of my soul that I left there, with those amazing people.

Diary, I am only just beginning to understand...
how to heal,
how to strengthen the light inside of everyone
how to nurture Dharma so that Lakshmi may also find me
how to be collaborative
how to be compassionate,

But aren't we all Diary? Aren't we all experiencing: compassion, understanding, gratitude? Aren't we all learning how to set our metaphorical rocks down, so that we can actually talk to each other?

I certainly feel so. I feel it in my essence and in my bones, Diary. Change is on the horizon. I am shivering with anticipation. But I am not waiting for it, rather actively seeking it out, inviting it to become apart of who I am.

Diary, there are no amount of words that could actively describe how I am feeling in this moment. They are a cacophony inside me. But the dissonance and uncomfortability is also okay. I am okay with the darkness, the silence, the sadness. And I acknowledge that inside me lives a "coal, of hope, that I must never let burn out". That everything I experienced is creating a more incredible me, someone that has the tools to actively and positively change the things I touch and the people I meet. That I can support the people, my people, my college, my community.

To everyone I met, we danced together, we had entire conversations through dance. We cried together and had entire conversations through feeling. We meditated together and had entire conversations through the transfer of energy. We healed together and had entire conversations through the rawness. Everyday, I remember all of you and that is why I may feel alone, but know that I am not alone.

"I have energy, You have energy, We have energy. None of the energy ever goes away, we just turn it into more incredible things." -Gyasi Ross

Diary, this is my story, my reflection. May what is keep me going.

Love to all of my Salish friends, Love to the Sea, Love to the Earth.

We will meet again soon,
Forever yours,
Sossina

I Thank thee Earth...

Thank thee Earth...
For the rain...(water)
the feeds our souls and feeds our brains.
That makes us new and washes away.
That nurtures and forages,
the things we need to grow.
this is what it takes to make us whole.

Thank thee Earth...(fire)
For the sun,
The bright rays that let us know a new day is come.
The golden spots that reflect natures beauty,
the kaleidoscope that lives inside us,
warm under the rays of the ethereal sun.

Thank thee Earth...(soil)
For the moss,
the squishy green stuff that keeps us grounded to this place,
the soft bouncy good stuff...
where little bio's live and where cranberries sometimes grow.
This is the blanket of the earth.
Lay in the moss and feel safe.

Thank thee Earth ...(wind)
For the wind,
That fills my lungs and body.
That gives us an undeniable urge to look up...to fly.
That pushes boats home to families waiting.
Whose quick breezes remind us that our loved ones are with us.
For Breath...For Breathing...For Cleansing

I Thank thee Earth...
The Mother,
From which all life flows.
Who sustains and nurtures...all the grows,
and even some that don't.
Whose resources we take advantage of and whose creatures we harm.
The Mother who will hopefully forgive humans someday.

I Thank thee Earth...
The Web of interconnectedness,
That makes me feel like I belong here...
or somewhere.
That gives me strength.
A place where my brothers and sisters are not just humans,
but all living things.

I Thank thee Earth...
For the life she provides me.
For the voice she gives me.
For the beauty that I feel blessed  to see each day.
For allowing me to just...be.

Existence is precious.
Thank thee Earth.

Sossina Jeanette Chirhart October 8 2015

In honor of Earth Charter Week

Authenticity

Mirror Mirror On The Wall,
You reflect a person I do not recall.
I am not that broken girl.
I stand right here and I am tall.
Your Lies they eat away at me,
I wait for night,
I wait for peace.
Morning comes,
I smash the mirror.
For I am here, yes I am here.
I am not defined by a mirror.
Reflections distort our face,
make us hungry,
feel unsafe.

Broken Mirror on the wall,
I am not pieces,
I stand tall.
I am not broken,
I don't need to be mended.
I am perfect,
My own light inside me,
The stars are my token, they are what guides me.

-Sossina J Chirhart October 2015

Dear Wanderer's we are not broken

Dear Wanderer's
for most of today, I have been in quite a pensive state. Fighting the forces of an over thinking mind and constantly trying to remember that nature is what will heal me. Why do I live in a city with barely any forests, that question crossed my mind more than once today. I'm dating this new guy and he is everything I am and also everything I am not and I am trying to wrap my brain around the fact that this endeavor will be an adventure like no other and I..am..terrified that my over thinking mind will eat me alive. I have finally found someone I fit with what is so terrifying about that? Let me tell you...I still feel a little bit like that broken girl who was searching for someone to help her put all the pieces back together. But the best part of me recognizes that I....am....not....broken.

I AM NOT BROKEN I scream to myself in defiance. The missing pieces do not make me broken, they just reflect the beautiful person I became after another person to a chisel to me. I do not need to be fixed and there is nothing wrong with being happy. I don't know why I'd short myself of that now...happiness. I deserve to be happy and take risks and really live because I don't know if I knew that was for a while.

Wanderers, we are not broken. I am not broken. The missing pieces are a reflection of the beautiful people we became after our hardships.

You are not broken..you are beautiful.
Love Always,
SoLoves <3

What satisfies my spirit, satisfies me.

And I forgave you,
not because I had to...
or because I could,
but because my spirit said to let it go.

Advice For The New Year

In 2014 I began to understand the value of my self worth. A short vlog with a big lesson.

I love all of you my wanderers,
until next time.....
-soloves<3

This is a Declaration of Self Love

The last few weeks have been trying...my lovely wanderers. My blogs have been scarce and I...have been at a loss for the words tucked away in my memory. This life that I lead is rarely a bowl of cherries and more days than not, the sun shines softly behind a deeply opaque layer of clouds. These are the words I have been longing to tell you...That this see which is my life had almost managed to drown me...It has been one storm after the next...Beauty...a rarity. But I am she...I am which the lightening and shooting stars make me. And all I can tell you is that anyone that says this...everything, is impossible...is wrong. I sit here in one of my favorite places to write and quietly accept my resolve while listening to: Vivaldi, The Four Seasons:Spring 1, recomposed by Max Richter, introduced to me by Terry Tempest Williams via David Barnhill.

I have resolved to declare my self love. That I Sossina a.k.a soloves<3 truely loves myself. I do not regret a single moment these last couple weeks. I do not regret who I have become because of them.

"Mirror, Mirror...on the wall,
I do not hear your sirens call.
I care not what you think of me...
I am much more than you can see."
-Queenisms

"I care not what you think of me...
I am much more than you can see"
and I love me:
I love the anxiously inscribed words upon my arm that you don't understand.
I love the broken smile I do when my heart hurts and my soul is tired.
I love the sadness I can see in my thoughtful eyes.
I love that my bones sometimes slumped..straighten...to continue holding up this weary body because I am proud and thankful that I have made it this far.

Nothing can break me, no not even you.
I am so in love with the girl who sings quietly in a room full of people she does not know,
who loves without reason or caution,
who dances her heart out everywhere,
who wished on the shooting star that she'd find someone that will treat her right and that her life will become complete someday. I love that she has sought the sanctuary of friends and that she still loves herself because few people come out of a weary battle such as this...as well as she has. My goddess is she beautiful.

"Love, after all, always said more about those who felt it that it did about the ones they loved."
 -Nicholas Sparks

Broken but still beautiful, Alive and not dead. I stretch my arms toward the sky praising the sun that has protected her daughter, the earth that has held her, to water that heals her and the fire that cleanses.

I know that I am full of secrets no one knows. Full of a love that the world struggles to comprehend. Full of a worth more valuable than all the darkness in my world.

And I know I don't have all the answers right now, but I do know that someday I will find them and that won't change how hard things are in this beautiful moment but it will make them better in the long run. This sometimes frozen heart will thaw.

You can't see it now and neither can I but deep in my weary body, I know things will get better, be better and I...will...never...give...up.

This is my declaration of self love<3

I love you all <3
-SoLoves<3

Forgiveness and the Other Guy

Along time ago, my dad gave me some great advice and I'm going to impart that advice to you in this vlog below. Please enjoy.

I Love You All,
soloves <3

Dear Diary...I'm a hurricane

9/24/2014

Dear Diary,

It's dark outside and cold and today has been less than perfect, but that is okay.

Diary today I am i one of those kind of hurricanes. I'm not sure I like it but, I know I need to be here. It's weird and hard to explain 

But I want to tell you "Things I tell myself in the Mostly Dark".

Diary I tell myself to give me a break. I spend so much time running around that sometimes I forget to breathe. I also tell myself that it's okay to let go of unfixable friendships and especially of memories. I tell myself that it's okay to remember and feel that pain sometimes. 

10/5/14

Diary I have been telling myself to set me free. Anyone that knows me, knows I have a good heart. I didn't deserve to be treated that way.

I tell myself that I'm okay when I'm lonely and to keep my head up when I'm sad and tired of being me.

Life's roses after all do have their thorns

Some days I tell myself to to keep swimming when I'm drowning and to keep loving when I'm hurting.

The other day, I told my roommate that I was done chasing after guys, I am gorgeous inside and out, and if someone truly wants me that way, they'll have to do a little work of their own.

Some days though Diary, I feel like the fool, that has let everyone in and still feels empty. 

Some days I feel like the giving tree, giving of me until there is little or nothing left.

And lately Diary, I haven't been able to find that cool optimism of mine and I really have started to wonder where it has gone. 

There are days where I can muster it and days where it is obscured from me by what feels like is a constant hurricane.

Diary, some days I wonder why the people I chose to love hurt me and twist the metaphorical dagger into my pounding heart.

These days I oft find myself wishing for people of the past knowing full well, should those wishes come true, I'd be driven to insanity.

Frequently I daydream of a lovers arms rocking me to sleep, of sweet fiery neck kisses, of snuggling. sleeping and iloveyous.

Some days the longing drives me crazy.

I miss waking up to arms around me after a nightmare or the presence and voice that calms my anxiety. I miss having someone to kiss beneath the falling leaves. Someone that just listens to me breathe or watches me fall asleep.

I hate that this huge heart of mine still remembers all of you.

And I relentlessly hope that someone comes along and shows me that I'm not missing out. That they are the adventure I'm supposed to have and that their love is enough.

But until then diary, I will do my damndest to keep moving forward. God knows I need to. 

I'll do whatever single is, even though it sucks and hopefully I'll find my way.

Diary, tomorrow will be better I hope.

Love,

Sossina <3

P.S. hugs and kisses to all my lovely wanderers 

Dear Diary....

July 22 2014

Dear Diary,

Today has been exceedingly beautiful.

It has been a day of tattoos, of feeling, of fleeting bliss, of memories, of "Yes", of sitting with a stranger in a cafe, of paper writing, vlogs, of #selflove, or never giving up.

As the sun goes down, I am almost saddened that something so imperfectly perfect is coming to a close, that today must go away, so that tomorrow can hopefully blind me with her beauty.

I have pursued and been pursued, no matter, the constant chase shall continue, of this I am absolutely sure. But alas I will run faster so that the gap may never close. Today on this beautiful day I am tired, back aching, soul aching...heart bleeding. I am ready to fall into the starry skies arms and quietly rock myself to sleep. My day always silently ends in Lonely.

But, Diary that has not made it any less gorgeous, 

smiles are stamped on perfect strangers,

love is found in the most extra-ordinary places,

warm is the hug that truly embraces,

old friends,

catching up,

light in their eyes,

on their faces.

Diary, loneliness is a small price to pay for all this extra-ordinary, every.Day. Beauty.

It is truly these "little things" that make me whisper to the bruised parts of my heart and shattered parts of my soul, "Thank goodness we made it. Look, it was all worth it. Everything was worth it".

And when the little voice inside me whispers that, I smile and you can see the spark in my eye lite up, and ever so quietly I whisper back out loud, "Yes, it totally was".

See Diary, today is one of those days that makes me wonder whether I choose moments of solidarity, or whether they choose me. Some days I love it, love being able to look around me and realize that this is the world I have influenced and shaped. That as much as it is in me, I am in it, but sometimes that pain creeps in, oh sweet sweet pain. And I suppose at the end of the day Diary, it all ends up being okay.

Well Diary, the sun continues to set, rather quickly actually and perhaps this is where we part ways for just today.

It has been beautiful and wonderful and bright and todays light will shine all through the night.

I cannot wait to see what tomorrow brings <3

Love,

Sossina <3

Why Nice People Get Fucked Over by a Fucking Nice Person!

It is self explanatory.

I love all of you,

rock on.

So Loves <3

Humans, Love, and Heartbreak are like a Cheesecake

Dear Wanderers,
Life is like a cheesecake, I mean yeesh if we're going to have a life, food analogy it might as well be to something delicious. In my mind, I picture a homemade cherry cheesecake. Three layers: graham cracker crust, delectable cheesecake center, topped with cherry pie filling or better yet, fresh cherries and maybe a little whipped cream.

As human beings I think we tend to make these 3 things in cyclical nature.
Part 1: Love
Part 2: Heart Break
Part 3: Recovery

Repetitiously, over and over and over again.

Love, heartbreak, recovery, love, heartbreak, recovery, love heartbreak recovery.

I think these 3 things happen in our lives cyclically with friends, family and beaus/baes, because I think that humans were designed to love and then dust themselves off after the heartbreak.

We were designed to love and accept love but nothing is one way, sometimes to love and be loved comes at great consequence, all great comedies and tragedies have thus proven so.

So I am going to have a fireside chat with you, love, heart break, recovery and cheesecake and I'll transition from each but talk about them collectively because I feel like there are days when we miss the point. Days when we are so upset with everything that and nothing that we forget the cyclical nature of this beautiful beast, forget that it will make a full circle and come around.

Part 1: Love

If this is what it means to feel again,
then let me feel,
always.

Heart in knots,
butterflies in stomach,
the scars of my soul throbbing.
If the eternal unquenchable anxiety,
is what keeps me awake,
to share my hesitant heart with you,
then if it must be,
let it be.

And if this crazy spinning Crush,
is what is Love?
Then I hope fate untangles my strange ass string,
to braid it with someone else,
with yours maybe.

Because life is short,
but,
years are long.
What is love,
without your sweet song?

I will give you my heart,
love you eternally.
soul exposed,
love my freely.

So here we are phase one of the circle the beginning, love where most of us start. The sweet pulsing of two hearts doing a dance to see if they are perfect for each other. The first part is all about the rawness and how much honesty we can expose to the other person. It is about just being who we are unedited and pure.
Stage one: Love, the delicious creamy center, the orgasm, I mean foodgasm.

But sometimes Love doesn't work out all that well.

Part 2: Heartbreak

What is darkness?
Darkness is the absence of light.
It is where my soul resides.
It is the limbo,
where there is no light.

Darkness is what binds,
it keeps my wings confined,
Somedays...it makes me wonder why.

Hearts will heal while souls must shatter,
giving can be a great disaster.
Why does fate confuse the strings?
Don't I deserve my chance to sing?

My turn to shine,
My turn for light.
These are things I see behind my eyes.

Sleep is not a blissful cave,
the lions den,
I am its slave.

I am weak and tired and sore and do not think I can give much more.

The sun has set,
I hope it will rise,
the blinding light,
I hope...hurts my eyes.

This is phase 2, heartbreak. Heartbreak does weird shit to us. It breaks us down and forces us to rebuild our own selves back up. It shreds our hopes and dreams and makes us start over, again...and again... and again. So many times it is a test of character. Heartbreak makes or breaks a person. They either stay down the lexicon of broken promises jammed to far into their heart or they yank it out bandage the wound and get back up again.

I can't help but think that we are meant to survive this and so much more. That heartbreak is just a bus stop among many to get to where we are going, maybe we even end up riding this same bus or train again but at this point it is all about the journey and how we choose to get there. It isn't something to fear because tomorrow the sun will shine and things will get better, will be better. The memories will start to fade and let us breathe. We will rise in the face of absolute adversity. Heartbreak hotel fortunately enough isn't like Hotel California, we are not trapped here forever only if then by choice. We can leave at any time, heal at any time, love at any time.
Stage 2: Heartbreak, the graham cracker crust.

Part 3: Recovery

The sun did rise.
I saw it's rays.
So I dusted myself off,
and whispered "amazing grace".
It blinded me while I drove,
so onward I road,
fields of gold.
took some time to shake the threads of darkness
off my wings,
even took some time to sing.
Last night though crying eyes I still understood,
that today would be better,
and brighter
and lovelier
than the day before.
That I'd pick up the pieces of my soul
and build another sculpture once more.
Because no matter how tough,
I will always be meant to Love.

We must break to become anew. We hurt so that we may heal. Tears cleanse our souls. The recovery is perhaps the best part. It is a time for self reflection it is a time when we can really invest time into taking care of ourselves instead of investing our energy into someone else. Recovery is the period of time in which we think to ourselves if I could do it all over, what bullshit wouldn't I have put up with, what would i have made more of an effort to accept, and what would i have given to have that moment again. Recovery is all about accepting the past and it's about forgiveness. And there is a part of us that knows that in the end, we will rise, gather up the pieces and memories and make it brand new all over again because this is the circle and we will be okay, if for no other reason than the sun will rise every morning.
Stage 3: Recovery, Fresh cherries on top with whipped cream.

So wanderers, here's my last thought:

"If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together...
there is something you must always remember,
you are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think,
but the most important thing is,
even if we're apart...
I'll always be with you."
-Christopher Robin to Pooh Bear

I will always be with each and ever single one of you wanderers on the best days and the worst,
each of you has a unique place in my heart,
Keep healing,
Keep loving,
Sing and dance in the rain,
Love someone,
I Love all of you,
until next time,
Love,
So Loves <3

P.S. All of the poetry is original and written by me :)

Dear Mr. Right

So if you are more of a reader *cough* Jared. Bare with me and listen to the short vlog which is just an introduction to the blog following the short video I promise. This blog is a future letter to my Mr. Right whoever that may be whether I have met that person already or not. It is a brief ever sweet note letting them peer into my soul and see just a little bit that is me.

Dear Mr. Right,

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life and in change there is power."-Alan Cohen

You know, I have released much of the things familiar to me lately and my life is filled with more fresh air and light than it ever has been. I am now excited to come across someone to exist with, someone that can join me on the spicy and sweet adventurous parts of life. I long for companionship and travel. But I do not long to settle down. I hope you "Crave me in the most innocent form. Crave to say good night and give me forehead kisses and say that you adore me when I am at my worst. Crave me in ways where you just want to be next to me and nothing more or less."

I want you to know that thus far I have been treated much in the same manor as a rag doll, no woman should be treated that way, including me.

I am smart, gorgeous and strong. Do not underestimate me.

"She never looked nice. She looked like art and art wasn't supposed to look nice, it was supposed to make you feel something."-Free People

I hope when I meet you if we haven't met already, that we fall crazy in love and never recover from an adventurous, do anything once, chocolate chili pepper stupor. I hope you see me as the whole picture and not just the paints. I also hope you fall in love with all the messy bits that are me. I hope you fall head over heels in love with my words, hat hair, makeup-less face, and inner warrior.

"she's a rare breed, matter fact, she's an endangered species, her heart's been broken and just like mine it remains in pieces, but every time we're near each other, smile is all we can do; our shattered souls intertwine, I know I've felt the same agonizing pain that she's been through and I find comfort in her grasp so I reach out with both arms..."

I hope when we meet, you find sanctuary in and around me. I hope my presence helps heal your broken bits as much as I hope your presence helps to heal mine. I truly hope that our shattered souls grasp each other in an embrace that fuses the shattered bits together so that there is no longer two separate broken entities but one beautiful sculpture.

I want you to know that you've fallen for: a hopeless romantic, who also has a hippie streak, who loves kids, and books, and stargazing, and candles, and meditation, and the quite room, who will hopefully have a tattoo by the time our souls intertwine, and who will unconditionally love you, no matter what, who believes in spreading as much of this love that fills her up to as many people as she possibly can.

I can't wait to meet you, if we haven't already,

 Love,

Me <3

Well wanderers, the secret is out, I am a hopeless romantic, but isn't that such a huge underrated part of living this journey and life....Love? Falling in a crazy sweet love from which we never recover, but really truly loving and be okay with that love, accepting it? On the worst days, isn't that what we live for, isn't it what we hope for and long for? The love and companionship of another human being who will love us despite the messy bits and struggling bits. who will "love us when we are a still day and a hurricane"? A person who thinks, "I don't know a perfect person. I only know flawed people who are still worth loving." -John Green.

Wouldn't you kill to even meet someone like that. I know I have met people like that, and they are some of the most beautiful humans I have ever seen. So here it is, Love, my love letter to someone in this universe hopefully destined for me someday. I challenge every single one of you that has read this far to write a similar letter, if you don't want to post it, fine, don't, but save it and make your bid for love, because after all that is the fire of this universe, love makes this life truly worth it.

Love onward,

dream upwards,

Stay sweet,

Try something new,

Love,

Me,

So Loves <3

why we should all take a lesson from Walter Mitty.

So new vlog for all of you. I am really excited.  I hope you love it! It's about why we should all take a life lesson from Walter Mitty the character in The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.

Love, peace and laughter,
So Loves

Do we do what's easy?

So instead of a my normal written out post, I have a vlog for you today! yay! I wrote it out ahead of time and I read it to you downtown at the sundial fountain where I live :) enjoy.

Enjoy,

SoLoves <3

Turtles and Trust

You know what I love about turtles? I love their fearlessness. I love that they know they have shells to hide in and they choose to sun bathe anyway.

I especially love that recent little turtle that has gone viral that plays "fetch" with a dog. I mean come onnnnn how on earth does it know that the dog won't eat him on accident or otherwise?

I love that even after something tries to eat a turtle, it still comes out of its shell, it's not like, "okay one and done guys, one and done". It doesn't just throw in the towel like us humans do sometimes.

You know what else I love? I love the curiosity of turtles. I mean lets be real, what on earth compels a turtle to play with a dog arguably at least 50 times its size or to swim up to a shiny canoe full of rather loud idiots or to allow a child to race it against other turtles, why doesn't it just hide in its shell?

So what's it's deal? Are turtles stupid...... or are they fearless.....or are they just to trusting for their own good?

If we take a brief look into native american history and literature. They have something called turtle island, basically it is that each appendage of the turtle represents 3 things: a noble attribute, a element and a direction. So I would argue that turtles are a whole lotta fearless and trusting.

A tiny small animal laughing and saying "YOLO" but then again, maybe not.

So maybe you're thinking, "why on earth is she questioning me about the motives of a turtle and proceeding to tell me about it?"

This is why.

Do we do whats easy and hide in our shells or throw up our walls?

Or do we swim out, reach up, and touch the boat?

Do we trust the people in our lives enough to level with them and then proceed to have faith in them, or do we use the walls to our advantage, sometimes only letting the other person see through the glass?

Deep down I know that we are capable of being the turtles of native american wisdom and story. I know this because I have seen it. But I also know it is much easier to be the hidey hole turtle. The Dr. Jekyll turtle over the Mr. Hyde turtle. Sometimes it is reasonable but most of the time we are the ones that loose out when we refuse to trust and have a little faith.

I guess I want to tell you to trust people, just like that little turtle trusts the big dog he plays with. To have faith in people just like the turtle has faith in the young boy racing him.

Life will be a lonely harsh road to live it otherwise.

This is just one way to make it brighter and lovelier.


Love onward,
My sweet sweet wanderers.
So Loves <3